The day
by fangirl.read.repeatt
Summary: What happened to Alaska young that night, one-shot.


**Looking for Alaska is John green's book, I take no credit for any of the characters, John can even take credit for the tears as I read looking for Alaska. If you haven't read this yet, don't read this, it is a big spoiler.**

 _I forgot, I fucking forgot. The tear fell as I raced from Takumi, ignoring him, I had to see her! I quickly told him how I put flowers on her grave. But I HAD NOT EVEN REMEMBERED! I fucking could have stopped her dying, I could of called the ambulance, or even dad. But no! IM SO FUCKING USLESS! I scream as I unlock my car, I carefully placed the flowers on the seat beside me. Mum would be here. I try to take a deep breath but break down crying as I turn the ignition, she wasn't here with me, because of me. I drove fast. It was a bad idea i was dunk. I didn't care. That's when it hit me I wanted to get out of this fucking labyrinth, I didn't want to see a gravestone with a body rotting to the maggots. Mum wasn't there. I was going to find her. 'but Alaska to go to heaven or wherever the hell she is, you have to be dead.' I know, I told the voice. That's when I saw the police car, if I aim for the front, the cop would be fine, there a good dead, saving the bloody authorities. I said aloud (even though Pudge couldn't here, and nobody would know) my last words "I'm escaping this labyrinth, or trying to, I love you, I'm sorry you loved me" I was so close. I closed my eyes as a jolt of pain crushed my chest. I had escaped._

I opened my emerald eyes; pretty sure I was dreaming as I saw my mum. "You're dead" I tell her. She laughs, in my dream she twitches and screams, "I know." I sit up taking in my surroundings, remembering the car crash "Am I?" I ask childishly. My mother hugs me and whispers, "Yes Alaska, we both are." I start to cry into my mother, "I'm sorry." She gently rocks me, like when I fell over at the zoo and scrape my knee, I smell her flowery perfume and soft cotton and cigarettes. Her voice Is gentle as she replies "Me to." I look up seeing her face, smiling, soft skin, eyes like emeralds with smile lines. "why?" I ask when I have stopped crying. Her smile is sad "for dying, for making you so sad."

Me and my mum talk sitting on the floor, of what I can only presume is heaven. "Where are we?" I ask curiously. My mother laughs gently, sounding like chiming bells, "where do you want us to be?" The room changes. My parents old bedroom, flowery soft bed spread, fluffy white carpets and everything else. I hug my mother. "She asks if I want to see my friends, or my dad. I don't. I can't.

I sit writing poems for the next few weeks. Well it only feels like a couple of hours.

I wright

 _Why do we love?_

 _If it has to end,_

 _It only breaks hearts,_

 _That we cannot mend._

 _Why did you leave?_

 _When I needed you_

 _Why couldn't I stop,_

 _Wishing I was dead to._

"Mar-Alaska! Watch this." I didn't want to watch my friends forget me.

"Come on" she urged. I sigh as I steep threw the portal for the first time.

I slide threw people to sit at the front of the assembly hall, of speakers, Pudge is at the front with a man I do not know, Chip is sitting middle-ish looking nervous as hell, and Takumi sat trying and failing to supress a grin. I watch as Lara stands up, then I realise this is my Prank. As the stripper takes of his clothes and starts to dance. I laugh. No one hears. I leave as the eagle gets the striiper to go off stage. I walk around school. There building a park in my name. I watch my friends, figure out the date, and watch as they take their papers on my question.

I watch. And wait, for one day I hope they will forget me, and have a happy life. I hope Pudge Will be happy, and fall in love with a girl who isn't screwed up, I hope he finds his great perhaps, I Hope The Colonel has the best day of his life and buys his mum a big house, I hope Takumi will meet all his family in Japan and get his dream job as a writer, I hope Dad can keep strong and one day forgive, himself, and me, I hope Jake will find his perfect life, like he deserves, I hope the eagle finally gets married, I hope Maureen retires from making bufriedos and goes to France to open a bakery which I knew was her dream, I hope the weekday warriors buy there limbo and whatever else they want. I hope Lara's parents treat her like her own person, and that she will be happy And lastly I hope I forgive myself, for every single fuckup, and get out of this god damn labyrinth.

 **I hope you enjoy.**


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